>me;finite.

this realization hurts
in the breakingbackaching
heartchafing way that falling to
stone paths from high fences
makes one's ankles
scream -- electrified,
this unwonted epiphany.

as my finitude, so
fleshily r e a l
hits stonilyflatroad,
as i cry out
for the give
and sweet smell
of soil beneath my
feet(testament to
worldwithoutend),
my mind whirls, my heart
dances dirvishes(frenzied
repetition like a caged bird):
how to find
lifegivingRoot
in this
deathdealingplace?

my weakness burns.

11.19.2007

\--wings--/

i.
)watching wings, great w i d e
silverswimming wings overhead
drawing a single shadow
on the ground
in my heart of
hearts, darker
than the pupils of my eyes,

deepdoubletblueand
swimmingly azure with
unshed tears-- i believe that
when the heart tears it bleeds
brightskyblue(the origin
of worldly-wondrous colors
is far wider, far
more v a s t, more
i m m e n s e than anyone does

imagine,says
dreaming me)you
swam, silvery-smooth and
raylike: ~ .slow. ~

through the outpouring of
my He ^ art:

6

ii.
carried
upon that
flow, you must know
that the silver shadow
you (so swimmingly) cast
from above i
carried

heavily,
and its darkly-filled pattern
-:s -:p -:a -:n -:n -:e -:d
dimensions innumerable both
within and

without, was even
in the raindrops
each; and, picking up velocity,
substance, and shape, each also
took upon its nourishing form
the vague and hollow imprint of
remnantly-drawn
you,

through air,
cloud, and
increasing quantities of

Time.

iii.
then, a brightness all afresh left me

awash in newness of love and
wholeness of

blessing filled me with colors all
-hued and glorious: arrayed
and held within falling bits of
sky(mayday!,i had thought,as)
a rainbow's thick-banded jewel-
tones burst in upon my shadowed

consciousness in the midst of
grey rain (its colors putting me
in mind of Jerusalem's stones
reverberating); testimony
to sunshine
and the singularly alluring promise
of song in the skies(our
shamelessly brilliant Future ---
==========================

iv.
inexplicable, this heat
in my heart of hearts(achinglywithincasedinthesetearsmygratitude):
it claps its hands like choirs of angels
ascending and descending here
the sparkling jeweled steps of this stairway,
ladder into heavenly throning presence,
footsteps ringing(with the clear, ringing sounds
stones are yet humble enough to refrain from,
for us) for His incalculable worth. *Jerusalem!*

inarticulate, arrayed and held within falling
bits of sky(mayday!ihadthought,but)
Heaven visited that rare quarter-hour, sang from the skies
with shameless brilliance like i've never seen
before or since. one rainbow, thick-banded with deep
jewel-tones and a multitude coursing up and
down its eternally ungraspable, glorious
arch(mayday!ihadthought,butno)their steps
were sure, and it felt as though they held _me_
in their outstretched hands, as though their tongues
worshipfully transfigured my sorrow, bringing me
before my Maker. *Jerusalem!*

inchoate, even i know the exceptionless Christ was no
madman, but a lover. there is sharply, stunningly, widely
Truth in his tender care for those he loved, healed, taught,
walked with, rebuked, ate with, forgave, and challenged...
and in the purity of his depthless Center, that particular
untamable wholeness, fullness of Integrity(circumspection,
continuity)both bounded and described by love, how(?)could
gentleness with such loyalty, such *joy*
be anything but Peace? this shepherd's every act:
humility. no grasping
for power, for influence but rather a submission to More
than simply what human-he or any other wished:
abundance(was your blood, Emmanuel, peerlessly full
as this rainbow? your intercessions as raindrops
glittering in the light from the throning heavenlies?)...

Broken Lord, please! Remember me(servantKingwithoutequal)
when you come into your Kingdom! *Jerusalem!*
7/4/07 2.44 am scmnts. timvisit.
~(c) Marykathryn Huffman
draft iv

.Continental, Love.

Continental, Love.

i would swallow mid-
ocean ridges, playing
sand-box
with its
f l o o r; i would reverse the
~drift~ of Continents, Love,
sewing lonesomeshelvestogetherwithmy
song -- perhaps, even, perhaps --
Yes. i would
i could pull Planets out of
Orbit with a poem, and
Galaxies off their
Axes, (if Grace would

allow)
love,

if it would
slide
me,you closer to
L o v e------>

(afterall, it's nothing
but earth now, isn't it
Sweet).

marykathryn huffman 12/8/06 7.40 pm santa cruz mtns.
draft iii 6/5/07 8.49 pm

==================================
so, it is approximately 9.30 pm, and since i can't find anything else to put in here at the moment (i've essentially cleared out my laptop and transferred it to my desktop, which is upstairs (yay), i am going to say that this has been an absolutely insane spring and i've loved every minute of it. well, not really every single little minute, but ... point being TIM AND I HAVE GOTTEN ENGAGED!!!!! AND HE'S COMING TO SEE ME IN JULY!!!!! (Joy To The World... well, to me anyway, and it may as well be Christmas -- oo he might be coming at Christmas too!) we got engaged march 26th, 2007, and we're to marry this coming january '08 Life is therefore maddening and temper-trying but WONDERFUL!!!!! *hugehugeGRIN* i should also put up a little picture of a couple of my favoritest little girls in all the world :) {sends hugs to cakes and twy}
must go ~ mum needs me....
love,
kate

Love effects faith and holds hope by overflowing with itself.

1 Corinthians 13

Love

1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not

love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the

gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and

if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am

nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to

the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not

boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not selfseeking, it is

not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not

delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects,

always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease;

where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is

knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in

part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I

was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned

like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see

face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I

am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the

greatest of these is love.

Gerard Manley Hopkins (1844–89). Poems. 1918.

God’s Grandeur

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.

It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;

It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil

Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?

Generations have trod, have trod, have trod; 5

And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;

And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell: the soil

Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;

There lives the dearest freshness deep down things; 10

And though the last lights off the black West went

Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs—

Because the Holy Ghost over the bent

World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

Nicholson & Lee, eds. The Oxford Book of English Mystical Verse. 1917.

“To the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever.” 1 Timothy 1:17

frightful night

can't sleep. i don't know what's wrong with me right now. but i'm going to turn out the light again and try to sleep soon. again. gah. i am rather wretched tonight.

born
an old woman
full of aches and pains; death
visited this child
early.

~marykathryn huffman
7/27/04

throat
flesh clenches,
strangling a cry, a
*wail*
of dark despair, crazed
helplessness and rage
a caged animal
stalking, crouched
eyes wild
muscles bunched
knowing there is no
breaking free and
suffering scars as it
sits
motionless: afraid---
i wail, and the tears fall freely
hot, but slow and constant
never stopping,stopping
throat clenches but still
i keen, rocking
rocking
rocking, i don't wish to face this
always,alwaysgive me a book and
sit me in the corner may i live in the
mountains with monks may i go wild
and live in the forest, bathe in the streams can i please may i FREE ME. i am tired of being scarred; a mass of fleshy blood and brain, i wish the status of the living but can never quite attain there's a slow death rattle i carry 'round on my back, crackling, popping, scratching, rattling out the approach of my demise. slow.... so slow.... father give me my new tent
~ romans 12 ~ 1 corinthians 13 ~
'O God, who didst send Thine only Son, Jesus Christ, into the world to
live among men, who during His life was tempted in all points like as
we are, yet without sin; enable us to live as He lived. So fill us
with His Spirit that we may rise above the temptations that
continually beset us. Enable us to remain pure in heart, holy in our
motives, and clean in our living... "We would be true, for there are
those who trust us; we would be pure, for there are those who care; we
would be strong, for there is much to suffer; we would be brave, for
there is much to dare." Thou hast promised we should never be tempted
above that which we are able to bear. Fulfill in us Thy promise.
Through Christ we pray. Amen.'
~rev. harlin m. campbell.