frightful night

can't sleep. i don't know what's wrong with me right now. but i'm going to turn out the light again and try to sleep soon. again. gah. i am rather wretched tonight.

born
an old woman
full of aches and pains; death
visited this child
early.

~marykathryn huffman
7/27/04

throat
flesh clenches,
strangling a cry, a
*wail*
of dark despair, crazed
helplessness and rage
a caged animal
stalking, crouched
eyes wild
muscles bunched
knowing there is no
breaking free and
suffering scars as it
sits
motionless: afraid---
i wail, and the tears fall freely
hot, but slow and constant
never stopping,stopping
throat clenches but still
i keen, rocking
rocking
rocking, i don't wish to face this
always,alwaysgive me a book and
sit me in the corner may i live in the
mountains with monks may i go wild
and live in the forest, bathe in the streams can i please may i FREE ME. i am tired of being scarred; a mass of fleshy blood and brain, i wish the status of the living but can never quite attain there's a slow death rattle i carry 'round on my back, crackling, popping, scratching, rattling out the approach of my demise. slow.... so slow.... father give me my new tent
~ romans 12 ~ 1 corinthians 13 ~
'O God, who didst send Thine only Son, Jesus Christ, into the world to
live among men, who during His life was tempted in all points like as
we are, yet without sin; enable us to live as He lived. So fill us
with His Spirit that we may rise above the temptations that
continually beset us. Enable us to remain pure in heart, holy in our
motives, and clean in our living... "We would be true, for there are
those who trust us; we would be pure, for there are those who care; we
would be strong, for there is much to suffer; we would be brave, for
there is much to dare." Thou hast promised we should never be tempted
above that which we are able to bear. Fulfill in us Thy promise.
Through Christ we pray. Amen.'
~rev. harlin m. campbell.